C.J. Ehrlich
playwright - screenwriter
Short Plays: 10 min, 15-30 min, and short-shorts
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-to request any full script and royalty information, contact CJ
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->>Full Lengths and One Acts, here (Plays: longer)
Ten-minute plays (synopses below)
• 2 + 1 = MURDER Cast: 4 (2F/2M or 1F/3M), noir comedy
• ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND SCIENCE Cast: 2M, comedy
• ANDY CARTER BECOMES A MAN Cast: 3 (1F, 1M, 1teenager), comedy
• THE BEES ARE WATCHING Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dramedy
• THE BLACK BOX Cast: 3 (flexible), comedy
• BLACK HOLE ENTERPRISES Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dark comedy
• BUT I'M THE WEATHER GIRL! Cast: 3 (1F, 1M, 1M/F), adult comedy
• CO-WORKERS Cast: 2 (1F, 1M, 1M/F), comedy
• DARK FRIDAY MARKDOWNS Cast: 2 (gender neutral), comedy
• THE ENTIRE PUNCH BOWL Cast: 4 (2F, 1M, 1 flex), comedy
• FLASH DATE Cast: 5 (includes Crew), comedy
• HOME SWEET HOMELAND SECURITY Cast: 4 (2F, 2M), 8m comedy
• INTERVENTION Cast: 5 (2F, 3M, flexible), comedy
• IT SKIPS A GENERATION Cast: 2 (1F, teens, 1M, 70s), dramedy
• THE LILAC TICKET Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dramedy
• LONG TRAIN RUNNING Cast: 2 (2M), comedy
• THE NINTH CIRCUS OF HELL Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
• NOIR IN SECOND CLASS Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), noir comedy
• NON-FLUORIDATED WATER Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
• NON-REFUNDABLE Cast: 3 (3F), comedy
• PACKAGE DEAL Cast: 3 (2F, 1M), comedy
• PICNIC ON THE LAKE Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), horror
• SECONDHAND GIFTS Cast: 2F, dramedy
• SNOW DOWN AT THE NORTH POLE Cast: 5 (2F, 2M, 1 flex), holiday comedy
• SPARE SOME CHANGE Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dramedy
• STANDING ROOM ONLY Cast: 3 (1F, 1M, 1M/F), dramedy
• TAKE A LEFT AT THE WAR ZONE Cast: 3 (1F, 2M), comedy
• THREE'S A CLOUD Cast: 3 (2F, 1M), adult comedy
• UBER STRESSED Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
• WAITING FOR HUGOT Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
2 + 1 = MURDER
(noir comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M - 10 min)
Private eye Blaze Pascal will solve this case by the numbers. Film noir, meet Math 101.
--“A delight!” - Noah Fredericks, Spokane Radio Theatre
● * Published- The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2015, Smith & Kraus
★ Script Sample - 2+1= Murder - upon request
ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND SCIENCE
(comedy, 2M - 10 min)
Two dads compete in a high stakes game: the elementary school science fair.
★ Script Sample - All’s Fair in Love & Science - upon request
ANDY CARTER BECOMES A MAN
(comedy, 1F, 1M, 1 male teen - 10 min)
You’re a youth vampire! You want me to do the ceremony so you can suck the experience out of me!
On the eve of his coming-of-age ceremony, Andy refuses. A story about the meaning of
family traditions.
● Piper Theatre Productions, VIDEO.
{or} ANNIE CARTER BECOMES A WOMAN
(comedy, 1F, 1M, 1 female teen - 10 min)
On the eve of the coming-of-age ceremony, Annie says no. A story about family traditions.
★ Script Sample - Andy Carter - upon request
THE BEES ARE WATCHING
(dramedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
An EPA official, "just following orders" to destroy the environment, is attacked by nature itself.
★ Script Sample - The Bees Are Watching - upon request
THE BLACK BOX
(comedy, 1F, 2M, gender flexible - 10 min)
Two strange salesmen try to sell Zelda a black box. What worlds does it contain? What wonders?
★ Script Sample - The Black Box - upon request
BLACK HOLE ENTERPRISES
(comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
How can a person be happy, when her job is to spread misery on social media?
★ Script Sample - Black Hole Enterprises - upon request
BUT I'M THE WEATHER GIRL!
(adult comedy, 1F, 1M, 1f/m - 8 min)
A diva, a stressed-out producer, a $40,000 camera, and a Yeti — live, from atop Mt. Everest!
★ Script Sample - But I'm the Weather Girl! - upon request
CO-WORKERS
(comedy, 1F, 2M - 10+ min) *
Batgirl's job interview, over the deadly vat of molten steel, is tanking. Is it the ticking time bomb? Or just, her?
● * Published - The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2018, Smith & Kraus
★ Script Sample - Co-Workers - upon request
DARK FRIDAY MARKDOWNS
(comedy, 2 gender neutral - 8 min) *
Two Radio Shack employees from far, far away ponder how Thursday can be Friday AND the feast of the turkeys.
THE ENTIRE PUNCH BOWL
(comedy, 2F, 1M, 1f/m - 10 min)
Three alumni are terrified of going to the reunion. But hey, who remembers the random tortures
of high school? Uh... everyone. Shania to the rescue!
★ Script Sample - The Entire Punch Bowl - upon request
FLASH DATE
(comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M, stagehands - 10m)
Why stick around ‘til a relationship gets messy? Get in, get out, get Mr. Right.
(Staged in the audience, on the stage and outside the theatre)
★ Script Sample - Flash Date - upon request
HOME SWEET HOMELAND SECURITY
(comedy, 2F, 2M - 10 min) *
Two couples get to know each other over drinks of 4 oz. or less
● * Published - G-Men in G-Strings: The J Edgar Hoover Follies, Heuer Publishing
★ Home Sweet Homeland Security - upon request
INTERVENTION
(comedy, 2F, 4M -10 min) *
A group of friends confront Leon with an intervention, but nobody knows what his problem is.
● * Published - The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2014, Smith & Kraus
★ Script Sample - Intervention - upon request
IT SKIPS A GENERATION
(comic drama, 1F-teen, 1M-mature - 12 min)
In 1980s Brooklyn, an ultra-Orthodox teenager and her estranged grandfather bond over
an album of yellowed newspaper clippings.
★ Script Sample - It Skips a Generation - upon request
THE LILAC TICKET
(comedy/romance, two mature actors, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
Sam and Barb confront two crises threatening their 50-year marriage apart: one happening now, in the doctor’s
office, and the other, a long-buried secret.
“I was spellbound.” - David Suissa, LA Jewish Journal
“Great laughs” - Patrick Gabridge, The Writing Life x3
"A perennial favorite" - Rare Earth Theatre, Sedona, AZ
"It’s a real joy to find a play that celebrates the good things in life.
"Filled with humour and a beautiful story about long time, love and relationships,
"The Lilac Ticket is easy to stage, will deliver plenty of laughs, and leave your audience feeling good about life.
No wonder it’s had so many productions" - James Hutchison
“Absolutely beautiful play” - Jim Finch, Artistic Director, Boquete Players
“Eat my pickles. Wear clean underwear. Marry a doctor.” - Bubbies of Los Angeles
● * Published - The Best American Short Plays of 2014-15, Applause/Hal Leonard
● 2011 Heideman Award Finalist
★ Script Sample - The Lilac Ticket - upon request
LONG TRAIN RUNNING
(dramedy, 2M - 10 min)
Two musicians lose almost everything on a cross country trek. Will their friendship be next?
THE NINTH CIRCUS OF HELL
(dark comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min) *
Tagline: Love, lust, popcorn and one sexy moose.
Andrew pines for Maya like Dante for Beatrice, and oh, what agonies he’ll suffer for her!
Hell is for wimps. Today there will be clowns.
● * Published - The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2013, Smith & Kraus
★Script sample - The Ninth Circus of Hell - upon request
NOIR IN SECOND CLASS
(comedy, 1F, 1M, 1 voice or walk-on - 10 min) *
Sometimes this couple live in two difference movies.
● * Published - The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2011, Smith & Kraus
★ Script Sample - Noir in Second Class - upon request
NON-FLUORIDATED WATER
(dark comedy, 1F, 1M -10 min)
As Sondra tries to organize a dinner party with nothing but a lemon, her dentist boyfriend (and cavity warrior) obsesses over just desserts
★ Script Sample -Non-Fluoridated Water - upon request
NON-REFUNDABLE
(LGBT comedy, 1F, 1M, 1F/M - 10 min) *
Two teachers from the Bible Belt, tired of pretending to be “just friends who work together,” go on a bargain tour of the former Soviet Block. But when an army invades their hotel room they learn a lesson about romantic hide-aways.
● * Published - The Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2017, Smith & Kraus
★ Script Sample -Non-Refundable - upon request
A PACKAGE DEAL
(comedy, 1F, 1M, 1F/M - 10 min)
On a bargain tour of Eastern Europe, a couple struggle to preserve their clandestine relationship,
and to stay out of prison.
”Enjoyable comedic piece... modulating between heartfelt emotions and...surrealism.”
-- Express Milwaukee.
★ Script Sample - Package Deal - upon request
PICNIC ON THE LAKE
(gothic horror, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
A romantic picnic by an alpine lake escalates into an obscene feast flavored with revenge.
“These eighteen 10-Minute Plays have been selected from more than 500 nationwide submissions. Together, they serve as a sampler of some of the sharpest, wittiest, most incisive, and thought-provoking writing going on in America today.” - Source DC Festival.
★ Script Sample - Picnic on the Lake - upon request
SECONDHAND GIFTS
(dramedy 2F - 10 min)
Over coffee and hand-me-downs, two sisters argue about childrearing, commiserate over the past, and discover that the best gift of all is family.
● 2010 Heideman Award Finalist, Actors Theatre of Louisville
★ Script Sample - Secondhand Gifts - upon request
SNOW DOWN AT THE NORTH POLE
(holiday comedy, 6 char, 10 min)
It’s crunch time in Santa’s Call Center. There’s a blizzard outside and an efficiency expert getting in everybody’s way. Can the Elves push back technology and keep their jobs? Caroling optional.
★ Script Sample - Snow Down at the North Pole - upon request
SPARE SOME CHANGE
(comedy, 1F, 2M - 10 min)
An entrepreneurial homeless man tries to get a businesswoman to invest in his lunch.
★ Script Sample - Spare Some Change - upon request
STANDING ROOM ONLY
(romantic comedy, 1F 50+, 2M - 10+ min)
He wants a seat. She gives him an earful. A play about second chances.
*Great showcase for an actor skilled with dialects.
★ Script Sample - Standing Room Only - upon request
TAKE A LEFT AT THE WAR ZONE
(comedy, 2F, 1M -10 min)
Return to the thrilling Reagan era, where a war could start on a beach and end with a margarita.
★ Script Sample - Take A Left at the War Zone - upon request
THREE'S A CLOUD
(LGBT screwball comedy, 2F, 1M - 10 m)
When her ex storms the honeymoon suite, Margot realizes today’s raincloud could be tomorrow’s tornado. Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy honeymoon!
★ Script Sample -Three’s a Cloud - upon request
UBER STRESSED
(comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
Shondra maxes out on the gig economy. It beats student loans!
WAITING FOR HUGOT
(comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min)
A frustrated screenwriter ineptly stalks a minor celebrity, hoping to get his ticket out of nowhere. But fate, and his wife, have other travel plans.
★ Script Sample - Waiting for Hugot - upon request
15 to 20+ min shorts (synopses below)
HOMESPUN WEBS LAB RATS
2F, 15min magic realism/comedy 3F, 15 min, surreal comedy
LIKE MANNA IN THE DESERT STANDING ROOM ONLY
Cast: 4 (2F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy Cast: 3 (1F, 2M), 15m dramedy
LONG TRAIN RUNNING THREE’S A CLOUD
2M, 15m Cast: 3 (2F, 1M) 15m bedroom farce
PICNIC ON THE LAKE TUESDAYS IN THE PARK WITH
Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), 15m horror-drama RIVER APPLE 5F, 15+m comedy
THE RED & GREEN ROOM WHOM DEATH DOTH S/EEEk
Cast: 4 (1F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy Cast: 4 (2F, 2M), 15m adult comedy
ROOM CIRCUS ZANE TO GATE 69
Cast: 3 (2F, 1M), 30m LGBT bedroom farce Cast: 3 (2F, 2M) 35m time travel comedy
SHREW MAN vs. SHREWMAN
Cast: 4 (1F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy
HOMESPUN WEBS: Imagining Louise Bourgeois
(comedy/magical realism, 2F - 15 min)
Drunk and alone, Madeline’s giving up on life after divorce, when she’s interrupted by the spectral presence of renowned "spider artist" Louise Bourgeois, come to talk about new webs.
★Script Sample - Homespun Webs - upon request
LAB RATS
(surreal comedy, 3F - 15 min)
Two stressed scientists know they're creating the ultimate junk food, but can't
remember why they're trapped in their lab.
★ Script Sample - Lab Rats - upon request
LIKE MANNA IN THE DESERT
(comedy, 2F, 2M - 12 min)
With Moses up talking to the Big Guy, down in the desert Maya and Yosi ask, “Are we there yet?” Then meet into old friends with a surprising secret.
”Very clever, good-natured satire with lots of laughs.”
★ Script Sample - Like Manna in the Desert - upon request
LONG TRAIN RUNNING
(2M - 15 min)
A musician loses everything in a cross-country poker game, including his partner's guitar.
★ Script Sample - Long Train Running - upon request
THE RED & GREEN ROOM
(comic drama, 1F, 2M, 1 either - 15 min)
Three actors drive each other mad in the Green Room while the star hogs all the stage time.
No Exit, meet the Mario Bros.
★ Script Sample - The Red & Green Room - upon request
ROOM CIRCUS
(adult farce, 2F, 1M, 25 min)
Jake's about to ditch Margot in the bridal suite, when Margot's ex, Sienna, arrives with
a special order of room service. Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy honeymoon.
Partial nudity welcome.
★ Script Sample - Room Circus - upon request
SHREW MAN vs. SHREWMAN
(comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M - 15-25 min)
The last, the rarest, the only banned Shrewman comic has finally resurfaced. Now everyone wants to get their claws on it.
“Borders on the insane” - Terry Shea, Motif Magazine, Providence RI
Samuel French OOB Festival, 2014, chosen from over 1400 submissions
★ Script Sample - Shrew Man vs. Shrewman - upon request
TUESDAYS IN THE PARK WITH RIVER APPLE
(comedy, 5F - 20 min, adult language)
Abby’s new to the city and to full-time motherhood, and just wants to join a playgroup.
Play nice, ladies!
★ Script Sample - Tuesdays in the Park with River Apple - upon request
WHOM DEATH DOTH S/EEEk
(adult comedy, 2F, 2M - 20 min)
Sexy model Yulia’s angling for a pair of pricey pumps, Stef’s daring her to charm the
sales clerk into a quickie discount, and a mysterious stranger knows way too much about Yulia’s shopping history. This dark, sexy comedy will have you quaking in your stilettos
and cleaning out your closets!
★ Script Sample - Whom Death Doth S/EEEk - upon request
ZANE TO GATE 69
(sci fi comedy, 2F, 2M - 35-40 min)
Kate Welles, a handler from a dystopian future, comes back to 1972 to brief a bumbling spy on what could be his -- and humanity's -- last mission. But will she be in time?
"Daffy fun"... "Delightfully ridiculous"... "Don't miss it!"
"This show is as entertaining as Zane is clueless." -- Deborah Martin, mysanantonio.com
"You don't see [this] on the circuit very often -- a well written sci fi piece." -- John Jennings, Pop Culture Theatre, Melbourne
★ Script Sample - Zane to Gate 69 - upon request
1 to 5 minute short-shorts
ASK ZSUZSANNA: SINGLE MOTHERHOOD AT 50
(1F - comic monologue)
Tips on how to have it all: love, divorce, a career, and playgroups, in the big city.
FOUR EPICS AND A CRITIC (in One Page)
(2F, 2M, 2 either)
More stories than you can imagine burst out of this one-page comedy.
ONE SMART COOKIE
(2F, 1M - 3 min)
Sometimes the cookie just knows.
OOH BABY, LET'S GO FOR IT
(1F, 1M - 2 min)
“Well Daddy, since you’re holding a gun to my head...” A pro-choice rumination.
- “Striking. It resonates.” -- SLUT Fest
● Winner, GAN-e-meed Theatre Project, Not a Box New Play Fest, Boston MA, 2011
THE THINGS THEY DON'T TELL US
(1F, 1M - 1 min)
Two spies are dying to come in from the cold.
-“Super theatrical!” -- Mind the Gap, World Theatre Day audience
* Published- One Minute Plays: A Practical Guide to Tiny Theatre, Rutledge
WRYLY
(1F, 2M - 3 min)
A coed, a nerd and a jock sally shyly, loosely, drunkenly, and heroically through a frat party.
•Finding His Sea Legs (2M, 10m) - dark comedy
When the boss sails into international waters, how far would you go to keep your job?
● Black Ship Productions “Any Port in a Storm” (selection), Chicago, IL. 2011.
• Mafiance´ Wars (2F, 2M, 1F/M, 10m) - dark comedy
Games - they’re not just fun and marriage.
● Finalist: Stonington Players, Table and Chairs VI, Stonington, CT. 2012.
•No Vacancies (1F, 1M, 1F/M, 1 Elvis, 10m) - drama
In a future dystopia, a man and his pregnant wife try to get a room at the Las Vegas Hilton, but it's Solstice eve.
•Not Another Origin Story (2F, 1M, 10m) - rom com
Carlita has no patience for comics or cons, until she meets a decidedly unsuper hero.
•Passage to Delhi (4W, 1M, 45m) - dramedy
When a dutiful daughter invites her aging mother to move in, Alzheimer's disease forces them to make sacrifices.
